*Link to original post here
There are some things every mom says.
“Put on a hat or you’ll catch a cold”
“Your face will freeze that way”
How many times have you rolled your eyes when you heard some of the things your mom said to you as a child?
And admit it, you catch yourself saying the same things to your child today. I know I do. It’s almost automatic. Every time I do it I hear my mother’s voice and cringe. Especially when I fall back on everyone’s favourite, “You’ll understand when you have kids one day.” My only retort was, “Well I’m not having any kids!”
Lies. I now have two. And I’m sure they are doubly annoyed by my broken record of momisms.
Well now kids are taking to Twitter to commiserate with their peers about the annoying things their moms seem to have on repeat.
We’ve rounded up the 10 most common tweets using the hashtag: #thingseverymomsays. Some things never change.
1. Me: Mom I’m bored. Mom: Go clean your room. – @missshadyxx
2. As long as you live under my roof, you’ll live by my rules. – @its_austinnn
3. I brought you into this world & I can take you out. – @mixdgrlproblems
4. When you have kids, you’ll realize what I’m talking about. – @RealBryanGarcia
5. Don’t talk to me like that, I’m not one of your little friends. – @ItsRyanParker
6. I’ll Give You Something to Cry About. – @CarltonnBanks
7. Because I said so. – @iKeepItTooReal
8. If all your friends jumped off a bridge would you? – @CarltonnBanks
9. You eat what I cook or don’t eat at all. – @TonyTRoberts
10. If you go out there and break your leg don’t come running to me. @rmurray92
I have a bone to pick with children’s clothing manufacturers. Walk past the window displays of any children’s clothier and you may catch a glimpse of mini-mannequins, sporting über short dresses, and super low-cut tops. And if it wasn’t for their size, you might expect these fashions to have come straight from the runway.
Last week a disgruntled mother posted a comment on Target Australia’s Facebook page. Ana Laura Amini expressed her disappointment with the store’s clothing offerings for girls between the ages of seven and 14, stating that because their designs lacked modesty, she would no longer be shopping at their stores. Her post received more than 70,000 “likes” and nearly 4,000 responses – many expressing shared sentiments.
Target has since responded, explaining their product design selection process, and assuring Facebookers that they are indeed reading customer feedback. However, this does not directly solve the dilemma many parents have when shopping for age-appropriate clothing: Where can average parents (meaning us non-celeb mommies) get affordable, quality, modest clothing?
Target isn’t the only store to offer questionable kid’s garment designs. And it’s a source of frustration for many parents who seek to dress their children in more modest fashions. As a mother of a tween and teen, it’s become more than just a frustration. I spend far too much time going from shop-to-shop, sorting through racks, for clothes that don’t make my 11-year-old look like her 17-year-old sister.
I have always allowed my children to embrace their uniqueness, and this includes their style. I didn’t bat an eye when my eldest went from wearing nothing but camouflage in Grade 6 to wanting blue hair in Grade 8 (much to the dismay of her principal). And it doesn’t faze me one bit that my youngest refuses to wear dresses, or the colour pink. But whether their style goes against the gender-grain, or is more flamboyant than the norm, they both have one thing in common – their desire for modesty. My girls like to stay covered up. And so the struggle continues.
So who’s to blame? It’s not the manufacturer’s responsibility to guide public taste. They make their money from the demands of their consumers. And since many parents these days want little replicas of themselves, the selection of kids clothing we are left with is just a shrunken down version of adult clothing.
So tell retailers what you want to see in their stores. Nay, demand it! Write letters, sign petitions, employ social media as Ana did. But you mustn’t stop there. What we need the most is to accept that our children are children and not living dolls. Teach them it’s OK to love themselves as they are. Let’s build strong children who don’t bend to the pressure of media images.
We get it. There will always be moms who think it’s cute to have a miniature clone of themselves. And there will always be kids who want to grow up too quickly. But we must be responsible and draw the line and encourage our own children’s age-appropriate modesty. The change starts at home.
*Link to original post here
I come from a long line of women who take great pride in spending hours each day making meals for their families. They ask for nothing in return but satisfied smiles. No dish was simple. Many required hours of marinating and slow cooking. Dinner was always three or four courses. And there was not a morsel leftover at the end of the meal.
As a single, working mom, that is no longer realistic for me. When I get home at the end of the work day the last thing I want to do is spend an hour, or longer, in the kitchen playing Julia Child. Yet it’s important that my children’s nutrition not suffer because of my lack of energy and organization. I had to find a simple solution that made sense for us. So for the last few years I have been attending a bi-weekly meal prep session at SupperWorks where I spend an hour making 12 entrees. It’s such an easy process. I go on their website, make my selections from the monthly menu and book my session. When I arrive I am greeted by friendly staff who take my purse and hand me a glass of wine.
The first thing I do is wash up and put on a crisp, white apron. Then I move from station to station, following the printed directions they have laid out for me. All the vegetables are pre-chopped, and all the meat is portioned out. All I need to do is to measure out a few seasonings, toss everything in a freezer bag, stick on a label with cooking instructions and place it in the holding fridge. The best part is that I don’t have to clean anything up.
While you are given two hours to put together your meals, sometimes I am finished in less than an hour. All that is left to do is put everything in my cooler and transfer the contents to my freezer at home. For the really time-starved, they have a pickup option which means you don’t lift a finger!
I love how everything from the shopping, prep work to clean up is all done for me. In addition to convenience they offer gluten-free and vegetarian dishes for those with food restrictions. And on Saturdays they allow you to bring your little ones in to give a helping hand! Dinnertime is now stress-free and nutritious. We no longer have chicken Tuesdays in our home. We get to enjoy recipes from all over the world. Sometimes it’s Greek stew, other times it’s Spanish fish bake. Tonight it’s crock pot chicken curry. What are you having for dinner tonight?
*Link to original post here
We’re often told that healthy women with low risk pregnancies are able to work up until delivery.
But should they, really?
A new study from the University of Essex shows that working past the eight month mark may be as harmful to our babies as smoking since they grow more slowly in the womb.
The research tells us that women who continued working until the end of the third trimester were more likely to have lower birth weight babies. We know from previous studies that babies with lower birth weights are more prone to developmental delays and poor health. In addition, they are less likely to be scholastically successful, which could mean lower wages and higher mortality.
The study does point out that pregnant women over the age of 24 were at more risk. And those with less education are at most risk since they are more likely to have physically demanding jobs.
Samples were taken from three major surveys, over the last few decades, dating as far back as the 70s and as recently as 2005, among populations both in the UK and US.
One of the outcomes of the study was the recommendation that women who feel the need, should take a break from work before birth, rather than just after.
These new recommendations are a far cry from what pregnant women have been told in recent years. Women have been encouraged to stay active throughout their pregnancy to prevent gaining excess weight, which can contribute to gestational diabetes. Even light jogging is considered a safe way to keep fit and possibly make labour easier.
Sure, maybe with six support bras cradling your swollen, tender breasts. There’s nothing like carrying around the extra weight of baby, placenta, amniotic fluid and the increased blood mass to motivate you through your last mile. *eye roll*
I remember how cumbersome I felt at six months pregnant with my second child. Every joint ached, and it took all I had in me just to waddle to the kitchen to address baby’s chicken craving. I couldn’t imagine having to sit at an office desk for eight hours or playing Frogger through downtown traffic to make it to an industry event on time, let alone go jogging.
This new information finally offers some rest for the weary. It’s bad enough that women are expected to do it all, but to do it all while nine months pregnant? And we place these expectations on ourselves. We compete with each other the most.
Ladies, it’s OK to put your feet up and modify your daily routine. Yes, women have bore children for millennia, but it doesn’t make the feat any less miraculous, and dare I say, brave.
So take your last month, or three, off work and start nesting. And don’t allow the big belly mamas-to-be doing the downward dog in the park to make you feel inadequate. Better them than you.
We love our fierce and fearless Canadian women. So we couldn’t pass up the chance to sit and chat with Canada’s Queen of DIY filmmaking, and the founder of pUNK Films, Ingrid Veninger. Veninger’s feature, i am a good person / i am a bad person screened at TIFF 2011 to rave reviews. It explores breakdowns of communication in family relationships in a unique and captivating way.
Now, i am a good person / i am a bad person is opening theatrically at The Royal in Toronto on June 14. And perhaps more exciting is The Canadian Film Institute’s (CFI’s) Intimacies: The Cinema of Ingrid Veninger (June 7, 8, 9 &15) celebrating Veninger’s remarkable filmmaking career, from her start as a child actor to her present-day success.
We delved deep into the artist’s mind and pulled together some inspiring messages we just had to share! Read on to find out what makes Veninger tick, and how she juggles making films with being a mom.
IVILLAGE: What does it mean to you to be a Canadian filmmaker?
INGRID VENINGER: I think we’re really fortunate in this country. We have incredible resources and incredibly skilled people in front of the camera, behind the camera. In Toronto we have great labs, we have great resources and people are very, very generous and helpful to the emerging filmmakers – and those that want to do something different and take creative risks but maybe don’t have the biggest budgets. In other parts of the world there’s not that same generosity of spirit.
How important is it to be identified as a female filmmaker?
When I see a film that has the distinct perspective of a woman I really appreciate it. It’s a very important perspective. I feel like we have to shout a little bit louder because there’s so few of us actually directing. It’s a male-dominated industry.
Women are generally the primary caregivers, if there are kids, the juggle of being a mother and a lover and a filmmaker is really, really hard.
So, how do you balance life as a filmmaker and a mom?
I love having kids so much. Oftentimes, as a woman, our work – especially in filmmaking because it’s so consuming – can take us away from our families and in some cases, destroy our families and destroy our relationships. The work is not worth it for me. How I’ve managed to navigate some of these tricky years is by involving my family in my work. I love making films with them.
How has working with your children transformed your relationship with them?
Working with one another on that level has been really important to sort of help with the transition of the role of the mother. My role has been to look after my kids and make sure they get through school and get good marks and are healthy. Then they become adults and we have to sort of let go of them. That’s a really difficult process, to truly let go of them and not control the choices they make.
You were an only child. How did that affect your life?
I had to really entertain myself. So in a way I’m thankful. When I’m writing scripts, a lot of my most acute, potent feelings come from the loneliest times. I think art allows us to process and transform some of our most painful, difficult times.
What do you do to recharge?
I’m generally a pretty optimistic, hopeful, positive person. I’m a bit of a movie junkie so I watch films to recharge and get me feeling hopeful again. Watching other people’s films gives me strength. My kids are also incredibly inspiring and I have an amazing, supportive, grounding partner. I wouldn’t have the life I have without him. And music. I like to go out and dance a lot.
What do you want people to think after seeing i am a good person, i am a bad person?
If anything, I want there to be dialogue. The film is about complete emotional breakdown in the family. The characters in this film really suffer from the inability to communicate. Sometimes when that happens, even though you love hugely, it’s impossible to express it. It can seem like just touching the person that you love is like moving through molasses, like you can’t quite get to them.
I’m about creating bridges of intimacy and communication between people. If an effect of the film is that parents and kids listen to one another a little bit more, then that would be a cool thing.
What does it take to be a successful filmmaker?:
I think all of us have to define what is the most valuable to us, what defines success, and what our intentions are with making the work in the first place. Other people will say to be a successful filmmaker means you have to win an Academy Award, or earn a million dollars at the box office. So it’s a very personal thing. For me, being successful is a film-by-film question.
My intention in making i am a good person, i am a bad person was to create certain challenges for myself and to make a film that is almost like a theatre piece that can be only shown in limited time frames. And that the box office from this film is going to generate more micro budget films. If I can make five feature films out of the box office from The Royal, that will be successful to me.
Budding Toronto filmmakers: don’t forget to check out pUNK Film’s $1000 Feature Film Challenge! You could get $1,000 to produce your very own film. To learn more, click here.
It’s Potty Time!
No mom has ever avoided the dreaded potty training experience. Messes, being sequestered in the home, naked bums walking around the house – these are some of the things moms go through during the potty training process.
No wonder so many moms want to get it out of the way and be done with it. Enter the quick-training guide. While Dr. Sears advises against rushing a child who is not ready, some say it can indeed be accomplished in three scant days.
If this is something you wish to explore, read ahead for information to consider.
Things to Consider Before you Begin
Development: When will your child be ready?
The Canadian Paediatric Society recommends a child-oriented approach to toilet training. Most children develop bowel and bladder control somewhere between 24 and 48 months, but the muscles surrounding the opening of the bladder and bowel begin to mature around 18 months. This is generally the optimal time to begin introducing the potty.
But physical development isn’t the only factor. A child must also be psychologically ready. Click ahead for a list to help you determine if your child is psychologically ready to begin training.
Is Your Child Ready?
– Able to walk to the potty chair (or adapted toilet seat)
– Stable while sitting on the potty (or adapted toilet seat)
– Able to remain dry for several hours
– Receptive language skills allow the child to follow simple (one- and two-step) commands
– Expressive language skills permit the child to communicate the need to use the potty (or adapted toilet seat) with words or reproducible gestures
– Desire to please, based on positive relationship with caregivers
– Desire for independence, and control of bladder and bowel function
Time: Are YOU ready?
Once development has been addressed it’s time to decide whether you or your caregiver has the time to devote to training.
The process can take anywhere from three to six months, but don’t let this information discourage you. Understanding your child’s physical capabilities can help you avoid a battle with a child who is just not ready.
Now that readiness has been established, we turn to the quick-training gurus to help you shorten the course.
Mommy blogger, Crystal, at Growing a Jeweled Rose, shares her success story “…in hopes of encouraging and empowering you to make potty training a smooth and positive transition.”
Crystal used Julie Fellom’s Diaper Free Toddlers program as described on babycenter.com.
Preparing For Your “Naked Weekend”
– Talk to your child about the potty in the days leading up to the “naked weekend” to help prepare them for the process. Reading potty training books geared toward little ones will help your tyke understand what they are about to embark upon.
– Bring your child to help pick out his or her potty to build excitement. Also let them select their big kid undies. Colourful ones with their favourite cartoon character will make them excited to shed the diaper.
– Set up a reward system. Crystal says it is particularly helpful in this program. Pick out the prizes on the same day as the potty and undies.
– Clear your calendar. You need to set aside three days (the weekend tends to be the most convenient) when you don’t leave the house.
– The most important piece of advice is that your child should be completely naked from the waist down for the entire three days.
Now it’s time to begin the actual training. E-how recommends using positive reinforcement and praise for a job well done. Saying things like “you are such a big girl/boy,” when your child stays dry will encourage him, who wants nothing more than to please you.
Get Him Involved
Involve your child in tossing out unused diapers (much like we throw out junk food when we decide to eat healthfully). Once there are no more diapers, explain to your child that it’s time to begin using the potty.
Show her where to go pee and poo and tell her to let you know when she feels the urge to tinkle. They key message to get across is that she needs to try her best to stay dry.
Stay close by and monitor his expressions and remind him of the potty’s existence and purpose. If there is an accident, don’t scold or say negative things like “you are a bad boy,” instead indicate that his underwear is wet and take him to the potty to finish emptying himself.
When he finally uses the potty, make a big deal out of it. Do a little dance or sing a little song and be otherwise very excited. Now is the time to reward him with one of the prizes you picked out together. It’s not a bribe, just a treat.
Repeat this process for three days and by the end your child will have gotten the hang of using the potty. That’s not to say there won’t be accidents, particularly at night, but he will be well on his way.
Some Final Words of Advice
– Encourage fluid intake during the process and keep drinks nearby
– Stop liquids two to three hours before bedtime
– Be consistent; don’t go back to diapers
– Don’t force your child to use the potty
– Don’t let her sit on the potty if she isn’t using it
– Remember some children need to train longer
A recent article in the Huffington Post about the introduction of the baby bikini onesie in a Southaven, MS Gordmans has sparked fury among locals. Cries of indecency, and worries over pedophiles being enticed by wee ones donning the garment, have exploded all over the World Wide Web.
Is it tacky? Yes. Is it distasteful? Absolutely. Will it draw child predators out of the woodwork? Doubtful. At least not any more than a baby in a bathing suit would. After all, it’s innocence that these sickos prey upon. Not the sight of a fully mature woman’s body in a bikini.
However, I’m a big believer in letting kids be kids. Beauty pageants for toddlers rub me the wrong way. A toddler trained to be cheeky and coy in order to win a beauty competition is sending the message that being sexually desirable is how girls should behave to be accepted. What makes it any different from putting an 18-month-old baby girl in that onesie? A baby doesn’t understand what they are wearing.
At what point does a piece of clothing or mannerism become too much? There doesn’t seem to be a definitive line that when crossed is considered inappropriate. Maybe that’s the real problem. We need clear boundaries.
The baby bikini onesie is probably harmless. I’m neither indifferent nor appalled at the idea of this garment. It just leaves me shaking my head. The crotchless panties mentioned in the article, on the other hand, that’s a whole other kettle of fish.